Monday, October 19, 2009

Weird science

Sometimes I really wonder how science (or scientists, rather?) actually achieved anything during the last two centuries. How did we end up in a world where technology dictates and regulates everything, considering that some of the world’s top scientists are loonies?

Thank God for engineers – those amazing people who abuse science for practical purposes. Otherwise we would all be sitting in our mud huts dreaming of floating cities and flying saucers, and lusting for hairy green women from some fictional planet, while eating raw meat that we killed with a rock.

One can only wonder how some people legally obtain their doctor’s degrees? It must be the same type of doctor’s degree that Robert Mugabe and Sam Nujoma worked so hard for. (Not doctor, but “doktah”…)

This clown says that “nature” defies the laws of nature and moves backward in time so that it can stop the Hadron Collider experiment from occurring.

This opens up a massive can of worms. (Or should that be “worm-holes”?)

After Obama won a Nobel peace prize for upscaling the war in Afghanistan and making good speeches, this guy probably realised that he would really have to go off the deep end if he wanted to win the Nobel Science prize. What better option than to advocate goofy science fiction? I’m sure the old boys in Norway are already feverishly comparing notes about their next candidate for the Nobrain Science prize.

They’ve got it all in this conspiracy – time travel, Armageddon, awesome catastrophes, a 27km tunnel and great sci-fi words like “Higgs particles”, “paradox”,”particle accelerator” and of course the ever-lurking menace that is called the “opening of black holes”.

One can only imagine what all these things could mean when they’re thrown together in a pot and mixed together in an 11.2 billion dollar machine that also boasts it’s own al-Quaeda spy.

Some of today's scientists sound a lot like the old druids and wizards, mixing a little bit of factual science with a lot of fairy tales and magic.

What is this universe coming to?

Apparently time travelling is not as far-fetched as some of us common folk would believe. Even back in 1943 the US army was able to travel back in time for 10 seconds, and they also teleported a ship 120 miles away.

This has, of course, all been filed under the Philadelphia experiment conspiracy theory archives, along with great stories from Area 51 and the fake Moon landing.

Oh, and then there is the digital television conspiracy. Apparently, “the mandatory switch to digital television is a smokescreen for a Big Brother society because of cameras built-in to set top boxes.”

Yikes, at least I can leave the kids alone at home, because the government will be looking after them while I’m gone. Shopping is going to get much easier from now on.

Maybe I should do some forward time travelling and see if this whole Global Warming thing is true…

“For those of us who believe in physics,” Einstein once wrote to a friend, “this separation between past, present and future is only an illusion.”…

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