Adventures with an African scammer - Part 5

Kelvin Kamwe was very excited about his brand new Nokia N97 that was soon to be delivered in Accra, Ghana:

Dear Chester Williams

I am happy that you have send the phone through FEDEX and we have there office here in Accra Ghana and i will like you to attach the airway bill and send to me so that i can track the phone to know when it will arrive here in Ghana

Please i am very sure that you send the phone to Accra Ghana not Gambia because Gambia is another country while Ghana is another country and i am in Ghana not Gambia i will call you on phone after sending this mail now to you

Thanks and i am waiting for the airway bill which the Fedex company give to you when you deposited the phones to them

Regards
Mr. Kelvin

Oops - Chester is very busy all of a sudden, and does not respond to his email for two days. But don’t worry, Chess was busy faking the waybill that was soon going to be sent through to Kevin.

But, for now, Chester is busy playing with his blow-up dolls and Pamela anderson videos, and he doesn’t have time for the computer. This is causing Kevin a bit of stress, and he does a serious follow-up:

Please i am stil waiting for the airway bill so that i can track the phone to know when it will rich here in Ghana

Thanks and God bless
Mr. Kelvin

Rich? Maybe not mate, you’re counting your chickens long before they’ve hatched. There even is a “God bless” added to that one - great.

Chester stays busy with his blow-up dolls, and is enjoying his weekend. I thought he might have tried to give Chester a call by now, and this would have tipped him over to the non-trusting position. But somehow he is still clinging on, and Chester is ready for all the action.

First, Chester will send off the waybill, and then we’ll see what happened to the package.

Isn’t it ironic that this guy works for “Global couriers”, but he recommends using DHL? If he really worked for a courier company, the phones would have been in Ghana by now.

Chester is a little stupid, and doesn’t think about these obvious things.

Dear Kevin,

Sorry, I was very busy this weekend, and I had not had a chance to look at my email yet. I was at the local children's hospital today, showing them some of the videos I bought recently. Have you ever heard of Hugh Hefner? He makes very good movies. I see that you have been looking to find me on the email. Did you call? I did not recieve any calls from Gambia that I know of. My secretary also did not have any messages for me.

By this time you have probably already recieved the phones? Are they working in your country?

Remember to first charge the batteries for 16 hours, otherwise they don't last long. They say that the N97 batteries are made of silicon anusprod carbidium, and are the newest on the market. But don't use them if you haven't charged them for the first 16 hours. After that you can charge and discharge and use them for any of the purpose. That is very important. Otherwise the battery will lose it's unproven ability to keep going for long periods.

So, let me know if you've recieved the phones? I am waiting to hear from you soon.

God bless you and your family

Regards,
Chess

Once again, I added some science fiction to the message. There’s nothing like a little fiction to spice up a good story. The batteries even have anusprod as an ingredient. And the "unproven ability" is really entertaining.

Kelvin’s next email to me was a bit more arrogant, and hinted of a little scepticism.

Dear Chester Williams

I need the airway bill which the FEDEX company give to you when you send the phone and i also need your Mobil phone number so that i will call you

Hope you give the FEDEX company this phone number 0249141364 Which they will call when the phone arrive in Ghana here

Thanks and i am waiting to receive the airway bill
Regards
Mr. Kelvin

I had been prepared for this. I am going to make this package disappear. This is where the whole Gambia thing comes in. I had already prepared a beautiful fake FedEx waybill, and made sure it was scanned in bitmap format so that the size is massive.

The waybill had been uniquely tainted in such a way as to make it difficult to read most of it, even though the size is a few MB. Chances are good that this scammer is on a dial-up line, and it will take forever for him to download the file.

On the waybill I made sure that the word GAMBIA was written large and clear enough for anyone to see. I wanted to see how quickly he would pick up Chester’s error.

So far, Kevin had been very diligent about reminding me of the fact that he lives in Ghana, not Gambia:

...Ghana not Gambia because Gambia is another country while Ghana is another country and i am in Ghana not Gambia ...

...Another thing please remember that I am not in Gambia I am in Accra Ghana not Gambia because I see where you write Gambia so mind you is Accra Ghana...

The first two waybill files I sent, were corrupted files that were about 4MB in size. Just for fun.

Here we go:

Kevin,

My friend, I am so sorry, have you not received the package yet? I would have thought that it would be in Ghana by now?
Anyway, attached is the waybill. I scanned it in. They should be delivering it any moment now, I would think.

May you have wonderful, holy Sunday.

I am on my way to church now. Hope to hear from you later.

Chess

Chester suddenly had become very holy.

Chester hears nothing from his friend in Ghana - could it be that his friend thinks he won’t need him anymore? His phones are on their way, why would he want to waste time with this idiot any longer?

Chester sends a follow-up, again including the large corrupted “.jpg” file:

Kevin,

Did you get the package? I am waiting to hear from you. Has it arrived yet?

The waybill is attached, just in case you didn't get my previous mail.

Regards,
Chess

This time Kelvin replied, and he seemed to be a bit under pressure.

It seems that he typed this in high-speed mode:

Dear Chester Williams

I have not receive ths package and Fedex company has not call the phone number i give to you to give them so that immediately the package arrive they will call so i am still waiting to receive there call as soon as the package arrive here in Ghana

Please i need your direct Mobil phone number so that i will call you and let you know as soon as the package arrive and they call me

Regards
Mr. Kevin

Now I’m really wondering what he did with the AWB number I gave him - doesn’t he understand Afrikaans? No worries, I’ll provide him with a "direct mobile" number that’s going to cost him quite a few bucks.

Lusty line ladies - ready to chat to friendly blokes: 072 075 6701

Dear Kevin,

There must be something wrong with this delivery, it should be there by now. Please check this attached file and see if the address and everything is correct.

Here is my direct mobile number:
+27 72 075 6701

Regards,
Chester

This time the file was not corrupted. Not in any obvious way, that is...

To be continued...